Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
