I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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