yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
