I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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