Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
