I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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