I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
