I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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