Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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