the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
