How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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