at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
