Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
