I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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