sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
