You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize