oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
