Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize