I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Quick, to the slutcave!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize