i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize