I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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