my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
