Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
