He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
