Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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