Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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