I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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