Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
