My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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