It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize