like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
