Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
