I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
