Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
