Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
