Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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