If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
