There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
