mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize