I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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