I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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