I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
