So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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