Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
