I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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