Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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