you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
