He passed out mid-signature
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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