this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
