i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
