Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize