hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
