Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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