I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
