the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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