I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
