Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
try to milk me bitch
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
