Define "chronic" masturbator.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
