The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
